BEHOLD, THE WORLD’S MOST DAPPER ROBOT
If Roger Moore was made of steel, this would be him. Amazing.
INCREDIBLE INDIA GALLERY
We see plenty of girls at FRONT, but our new cover girl, India, is the only one to have ever taken our breath away to such an extent that we all died. We write this post now from the grave, a message to let you all know that we died happy, with a smile on our face and a song in our knickers. Now, prepare to pop your clogs with this exclusive web gallery of this incredible 18-year-old from Reading. Sexy magic after the jump.
ZOMG! NEW ISSUE, NEW ISSUE, NEW ISSUE – AND SO ON
Mother of God, it’s that time of the month again. The time when our special army of randy trolls load vans with their sexy cargo of new issues of FRONT and send them winging around the world. And this issue has got the randy trolls randier than ever. They’ve always been massive Westwood fans, after all. Zing!
Cover star India, 18, from Reading, will fry your pants in her 14-page photo shoot. Plus, there’s a new-music special featuring Youves, Frank Gallows talking Frank Sinatra, Lil Susie rocking out, and lots more that you’re just gonna have to buy the issue to find out about. FRONT 130 in shops 30 April, word.
THE HORRORS: NOT SHIT ANY MORE
There’s no denying that when The Horrors first arrived in a tornado of excitable hype and unlikely hairdos a couple of years back, we were all pretty eager to clamber aboard their gloomy choo-choo – but then we heard their tuneless debut album, and we all quickly clambered back off again.
But fuck a gothic duck, they’ve only gone and turned things right around for their second album. With Portishead mastermind Geoff Barrow on production duties, Primary Colours sounds like what happens when somebody spikes your drink with temazepams and you end up having sex with your own jacket. We’ve all been there.
More…
WOLVERINE: EXCLUSIVE FIRST REVIEW OMFG WTF
We’ve just had a peek-a-boo look-see of X-Men Origins: Wolverine (in cinemas later this week), and the good news is, it’s a right laff – basically just a series of mental fights strung together by daft dialogue, which is exactly what a comic-book movie should be. There are cool bits with ninja swords, cool bits with tanks getting punched, cool bits with guns getting reloaded and, of course, cool bits with metal claws coming out of a hairy dude’s hands. Oh, and the opening-credits sequence is probably the best thing ever.
If we were to create some kind of fancy graph detailing how much we’ve enjoyed recent superhero movies, we’d put X-Men Origins: Wolverine a bit below Iron Man, way above X-Men 3, slightly above Watchmen, and below The Dark Knight. Is that all clear? Go and fetch a pen and draw it all on a bit of paper if it’s not.
NERDIEST-EVER WALLPAPER
Click here to acknowledge your decline into geekdom and download the lovely wallpaper.
AUTO-TUNE THA NEWS, SHAW-TAY
The news can be pretty dull, depressing and repetitive at times. There’s only so many times you can hear about corrupt politicians, collapsing banks or melting polar ice-caps before you want to kill yourself with a shoe.
Thankfully, US comedy team The Gregory Brothers have figured out how to make the news fun again: smother it in auto-tune, the robotic vocal effect beloved of T-Pain, Kanye, Lil Wayne and a thousand other melodically-challenged rappers…
IT’S THE WEEKEND, LET’S GET DRUNK, PART 16 OF LOTS
It’s 24 April, 2009. It’s sunny, and our office is near a canal, so it seems like it would be outright motherfucking silly to not get pissed-up.
We’re ideally gonna get so arseholed that we end up doing something amazing like building an adventure playground in a skip, and later getting arrested for attacking Tim Lovejoy with a piece of wood while shouting “Time to kiss the spider!” and doing a poo.
Also, enjoy this image of a different, awesomer Tim. How strong a look is that? As one commenter on his Twitter wrote, “That’s a lot of shit-roll, Big Dawg.” Look out for a killer interview with Westwood in the new issue next week, but in the meantime, GET YO’ DRUNKS ON.
Get the new issue delivered straight to your door for just £3.80. Click here to get your copy!
- Deadboy: this girl is heaven…
- Deadboy: your fitness has me lost for words
- DAlp: err….ehrr…rrr̷ 0;..calm down man! Ok. AWESOME
- Herald Koci: How comes that you got an artwork about me?
- twofathomsdeep: I loooooove, love, loveeeeeee El Wood. She is truly one of a kind!
- Little: Oh hot damn, this is definitely her jam. More?
- TheLucster: Damn…. where do I find girls like this?
- Omighty: I like fast Women so it’s even better she’s on Rollerskates!
- benjamin: cat and the cobra is a much better les savy fav album.
- Paulie: She is fucking awesome!!! great body, best tits ever…and shes a snowboarder!!! lovely girl too!